March 12, 2014
After the bribe of food and drinks at Nob Hill Bar and Grill, I read off a couple of my ideas. On one of them, I already had the first 24 words, but needed the final phrase that would explain the “entrance into the extraordinary world” with sufficient mystery and vagueness. I brought out 3 examples of log lines from books and movies that I liked (the phrase in bold is my emphasis).
“Orphaned, penniless, Jacob Jankowski jumps a freight train in the dark, and in that instant, transforms his future.”
— From Goodreads for Water for Elephants by Sarah Gruen
“Cassie Robichaud’s life is filled with regret and loneliness after the sudden death of her husband. She waits tables at the rundown Café Rose in New Orleans, and every night she heads home to her solitary one-bedroom apartment. But when she discovers a notebook left behind by a mysterious woman at the café, Cassie’s world is forever changed.”
—From Goodreads for S.E.C.R.E.T. by L. Marie Adeline
“A hard-partying high school senior’s philosophy on life changes when he meets the not-so-typical “nice girl.”
—from IMDB for The Spectacular Now by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber (screenplay) and Tim Tharp (novel)
I was looking for a phrase for my pitch that was along the lines of the phrases in bold from the examples above.
Then Dia threw out, “Deals with some ish.”
We all loved it. But we all agreed that we couldn’t really use it for a pitch.
We’ll see next week if what we came up with made the cut. There were over 500 entries in Pitch Madness, and 60 winners will be picked, so the competition is pretty stiff.
If I don’t make it, it was still a great experience. It’ll just be back to the drawing board.
Well, actually, it’ll be back to the bar first.