or, I rush into the heart of darkness and quickly retreat.
September 18, 2013
“Embrace the dark moment.”
That’s what I wrote in my planner.
I had to psyche myself up to delve back into the novel rewrites. Now that I am splitting my novel in two, I have to restructure the first break which means revisiting one of the most emotionally challenging sections of the book.
Here’s where I wail, “No! I don’t want to go back!”
But, propelled by those words of encouragement in my planner, and armed with a glass of wine, I spent thirty minutes reworking one of the difficult scenes.
The next day Neil Gaiman totally backed me up on this.
Then came the weekend. And the fist-pounding, heel-digging, wailing little girl reasserted her rights. I need a break from the novel. A week-long break, at least. And I will not feel guilty about it.
Nothing and no one backed me up on this.
But I got a lot of reading done and I went to the movies and the theater and met new people.
Now I’m waiting for the moment when I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and my mind racing and my inner voice shrieking, “What are you doing? You’re wasting time! Get your ass back in the chair and finish those rewrites.”
Then I’ll get up, down a shot of Vodka, and face the fact that break time is over.