This weekend I got a little adventurous and met some peeps at the Guild to see the movie An Oversimplification of Her Beauty. It was a little art house-y. The confused looks on my companions’ faces after the lights came on was priceless.
“So, was he ever actually with that girl or not?”
“He did tell her that one time how he felt about her, right?”
“I wonder what their relationship is now, after he’s told the whole world with this movie how obsessed he was with her?”
In the theater lobby I ran into my dance instructor from my old gym, and a friend of hers, and the three of us stood outside on the sidewalk for thirty minutes talking about relationships and how they work (or don’t work) for us.
And that got me thinking about patterns and cycles and our non-ideal romance and love nonsense that we repeat over and over again.
Take the filmmaker himself. His pattern was so obvious to me I wanted to yell at the screen: “Stop falling for women who live in different municipalities and hemispheres. Stop pining over women who are in relationships with other people. Just tell her how you feel about her if you hate the friend zone so much.”
Wait. Do I do that? That or something like it? Something like falling for the same unavailable types over and over again.
And take the filmmaker’s love object, the subject of the entire film. Her life mantra was so infuriating I wanted to shake her and say, “Stop it with this ‘I want to be in control’ thing already. Love isn’t supposed to be practical. It’s supposed to be exciting and irrational and unpredictable. You’re not happy with the practical—why do you think you keep stringing this man along?”
Wait. Have I done that? That or something like it? Something like convincing myself I want to be with a particular guy because he doesn’t make me feel like I’m free-falling, and then wonder why it’s not working out.
Damn. Self-revelation’s a bitch.
So I decided on a new game plan inspired by this movie-as-diary-slash-unrequited-love-letter thing.
- Stop it with the stupid pattern. Do something, anything, to change it up. (If only I could figure out what that something/anything is.)
- Go for the gusto. Go for the out of control, all-consuming love thing. Life’s too short for anything less.
Well, maybe starting this weekend.